Abusive Relationships Emergency Checklist.

Abusive Relationships Emergency Checklist.
Feb 6, 2020
8:40 am

by Iman K

Best Relationship Advice Ever!

"What you Want is ALL INSIDE YOUR HEAD .. No One else can Love You if you Can't Love yourself First."

- Iman Khalid
Young Relationship Expert

"My Boyfriend only hits me and only me (& no one else) because he Loves me."

- Valerie, 21

Valerie is a pretty College student studying Finance & is a former Cheerleader (flyer) and also dances K-Pop with a regular group.

I believe everyone has either been in one or has had a friend in an abusive relationship.

This topic in particular literally hits close to the heart and body (literally..OUCH!).

According to a study done by Women's Aid Organisation, there has been more than 5,000 cases of Domestic Violences reported in 2018 in Malaysia.

More so often, you don't realize you're still in one till you see your body covered with bruises and scars and this applies to both genders.

Men get abused too (...but usually mentally).

Here's a rough guide on how to recognize when you're in an Abusive Relationship -- be it Physical, Mental or Emotional...

Ed's Note: Also Financial Abuse .. !


#1: Constant Criticizing for Not Being Good Enough

It didn't matter how much work and heart you put into anything -- you were just never good enough.

Your abuser will find multiple ways to make you feel like you deserved all the bad that happens to you because if you succeed in being independent - it threatens their position in the relationship.

(For Guys: "You don't make enough money. You don't spend enough on me.")


#2: Withdrawal of their Love & Affection or Frequent Change in Mind.

Abusers often find joy in knowing they have control over you.

Hence, they tend to come back for you as and when it's convenient for them...or throw a tantrum...or give you moody vibes.


#3: Possessiveness .. "WHERE WERE YOU?!"

You know when you're hanging out with your girlfriends/boys and your phone just won't stop buzzing?

Abusers are constantly checking on your whereabouts and in this day and age, nothing is impossible.

There are even apps designed to track down your partners phone with just 1 click of a button...OMG!


#4: Jealousy & Accusation of Being Unfaithful

I've learned first hand from a cheating ex-BF, the reason they're so insecure and constantly accusing you of being unfaithful is because they're the ones doing just that.

I would say it's their own guilt eating them up inside and you're the one having to pay for it.


#5: Physical & Sexual Violence

Whether you're married or not, No means No.

If he/she pushes you, shoves, hits or grabs you and forces you to do things you do not want to do, that is a crime my friend.

What's Next, the abuser usually closes the show with the infamous line "I'm sorry, things will be better", "I didn't mean to. I admit it was my fault." 

Thus Ladies and Gents -- creating the best theatrical show known to mankind.


Gentle reminder, they NEVER change.

The earlier you notice these signs, the better.

You do not deserve to be hurt and treated that way.

If you find yourself nodding with agreement to everything I just said, RUN.

All that pain and hurt is not worth it.

Next, HOW to escape from an abusive relationship?

Sometimes escaping a bank robbery might just be easier.

Fret not, I've got you covered.


Cold Turkey. Be ready to leave at a moment's notice. Just Call It Off. Ask friends for Help.


Make an emergency contact list. Please do yourself a favour and choose people who actually keep their phones close to them. I recommend someone reliable and close to you -- usually Family.


If you're threatened, make a police report and apply for an Interim Protection Order at any police station. (Get an IPO .. LoL. Pardon the Pun)


For my Male counterparts, start seeing other members of the Fairer Sex as friends.

Get it out of your head that your abusive Girlfriend is the ONLY ONE...but don't drag the relationship.

Tell her when your head is centered and you feel normal.

It's OVER.

Good do you know when you're with the Right Person?

You're both not perfect but you both really do care about each other and everything feels...Natural.

Not like the Romance movies, not like a Horro flick .. but somewhere in between.

...and where you Laugh more than Cry.

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