By S. Gul
A joyful Malaysian daffodil’s hopes and dreams left in ashes when she took her own life at the age of 24 when the people in her uni took it one step too far.
Jerusha Sanjeevi was a child rape survivor who had been on her way of getting a doctorate in clinical and counselling psychology to fulfil her life long dream of wanting to help the children of the world but racial bullying and insults where there to knock her down to the ground until she never did get up.
She even wrote a published paper on child sexual abuse....she really was determined and dedicated.
With the help of her boyfriend, Matthew Brick, Jerusha’s family in Malaysia, is now apparently suing Utah State University (USU) for the uni not taking any action whatsoever to Jerusha’s months of pleas for help to her psychology department.
It’s surprising to find out that the university HAD KNOWN about all the racism that was happening in their institute but allowed such abuse to happen for years and years!!
With 83% of their students being white, favoritism was pretty common, making it hard for foreign students ….
Her bullies would tell her that her dark skin was a 'sign of inferiority' and that she smelled like Indian food.
Nothing wrong with smelling like food, but poking at a bruise would hurt nontheless. Some ding dongs would even send pics of Indian food and memes to irk her some more. Of course it would be a different story if she were to smell like chocolate cake...so I’m guessing it’s the racist thing.
“Asians only want to please their parents", "Asian names are weird", "stupid", "second best", “slut” and “whore” were the insults floating in the hallways when Jerusha would grace the hall with her presence.
Like anyone else in her situation, she started to withdraw from society during the first 8 months of her doctorate while the thought of her department’s passivity was pecking at her nerves making her wonder why she mattered so little to them.
On April 22, 2017, was when she decided living in such a clusterf*ck was not worth it and killed herself through acute carbon monoxide poisoning.
Disclaimer: The following text may be disturbing for some.
Here is what she wrote in her suicide note:
My heart was broken.
I have lived with depression for over half my life, and somehow survived each episode.
But each wave of sadness grew darker and longer,I looked and looked for a lifeline.
Until I realised that I didn't deserve one. Because [the Department] succeeded at teaching me what poverty, violence, rape, and hunger somehow never did ....
When you dismissed the bullying report, you provided a final confirmation that I did, in fact, not matter.
The innocence of blonde hair and blue eyes could deny, with toxic ease, the 'crazy' ramblings of this dirty brown skin.
Watching the department not only choose to not enact consequences, but to give an award to the sick person who bullied me, was the last nail in my coffin.
My heart was broken.
Please be kinder in the future. Please send my ashes to my parents.
It is sad to see a soul go through such pain and hardships all because of being different. Isn’t being different make us who we are? If we were all the same, wouldn’t the world be boring to the point of no return? We wouldn’t be eating pizzas, pretzels and hotdogs if it wasn’t for diversity.
Bullying is for realz and can happen to anyone. No one has to go through it alone, so seek some human contact to ease some of the hurt through Befrienders.
It’s a not-for-profit organisation providing emotional support 24/7 to people who are lonely, distressed, in despair or having suicidal thoughts. Call them even if it’s just to vent out, but don’t let yourself go any deeper into that dark hole. It ain’t a pretty place.
Befrienders KL: 03-7956 8145,
Befrienders PEnang: 04-281 5161/1108
Befrienders Ipoh: 05-547 7933/7955
Email [email protected]
Be yourself, and accept others for being themselves.
Comment down below any advice you’d give to someone going through something like Jerusha.